When Your Friends Disappear — Pain News Network

I lost many things during my diagnostic process and beyond, and friendships had the highest casualty rate. Pat Ackerberg had a similar experience and has some wisdom to share:

“Now, more than ever, you look to your closest friends or family to stand by you and catch you before you fall and break, like Humpty Dumpty.

But like a “trust-fall” exercise gone wrong – right when you need their safety net the most – they aren’t there!  And you fall hard.” – Pat Ackerberg

via When Your Friends Disappear — Pain News Network.


4 thoughts on “When Your Friends Disappear — Pain News Network

  1. I know I don’t fully KNOW what you feel, but my imagination shows me a deep loneliness and betrayal. I sincerely hope that positives that arise out of the relationships that stand the test balance out the negatives. For whatever that’s worth.


    • The people who stuck by me were surprises, as were the people who went poof. There is a societal discomfort with illness of any sort, and when someone says, “I can’t do this, but I can do these other things,” society hears, “I can’t do this.”

      There is fun in my life, and I have a social life that I’ve carved out for myself by modifying the way I look at my social needs. However, I have a lot of acquaintances who don’t really understand my condition. I don’t have many close friends who come over for relaxing.

      When someone does make a gesture that is dripping with compassion, I make sure that they know it with the hopes that it might be repeated.

      I don’t feel betrayed by the people who faded away from my life. I feel betrayed by my body, and at the same time guilty about what my body is doing. Obviously, these are things that have no source of fault. Since it’s not my fault that these things are happening, it can be equally difficult to rectify why other areas of my life have to suffer.

      “Why can’t you be my friend? I’m the same person? I just hurt all of the time. I still know how to smile.”

      Asking why and wondering at the actions of others only leads to more confusion and, ultimately, despair. The conclusions are typically some fault of my own.

      Yet, we know that’s not the case.

      It’s a sad phenomenon, but there are ways to recover from the mass exodus.

      Thank you so much for your kind words!

      Liked by 2 people

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