My plan for the day was to work on some vlogs, but it’s freezing, and tea and a shower most definitely have to happen before anyone (let alone a camera) looks at me.
One of the things that has been really important and special to me since I started writing My Brain Hates Me is connecting with you, my beloved readers and fellow sufferers. I love hearing your stories and getting and giving advice. When I have a bad day, you’re there with a kind word. You’re like my own “hang in there” kitten poster.
I try to respond to comments and e-mails and tweets and things in a timely fashion. It doesn’t always happen though. I sometimes go weeks without internet contact because I just don’t feel up to it. When my pain levels are as bad as they are I tend to retreat, and I’m trying very hard not to do that.
For me, it is very emotionally unhealthy to cut myself off from everything, and that is my exact instinct when things are bad. And right now I’m doing the exact opposite. I’m putting it out there for the world to see. I’m talking about my depression. I’m talking about my pain. In my next vlog I’m going to talk about my stupid brain thing that never ends. I’m asking the world for help. I’m doing all kinds of things that are very contrary to my instinct. My instinct is to hide under the covers, cry a lot, clutch my ice pack, and wait for some kind of end.
Maybe this is me fighting. Maybe this is me trying to stay sane. Maybe this is me just doing a better job taking care of myself.
Regardless, keep commenting. Keep telling me to hang in there. Keep telling me your stories. It means a great deal to me. You are precious parts of my life.
Here’s how to contact me:
Interacting with you makes me feel like a person.