24 Hours of Meltdown

It was this time last night that everything went from me feeling upset to me feeling entirely out of control. I’ve tried listening to music and staying wrapped up in bed… even eating ice cream.

I can’t play music or sing in this state. I feel like I’m waiting for someone to break into my house.

I’m officially off Topamax and down to 75 mg of Nortriptyline. I know that Topamax withdrawal symptoms can include increased anxiety, but I feel like the Klonopin should be helping me with that. Knowledge and feelings are two different things. Nortriptyline causes:

“extreme worry; agitation; panic attacks; difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep; aggressive behavior; irritability; acting without thinking; severe restlessness; and frenzied abnormal excitement.”

via Nortriptyline: MedlinePlus Drug Information.

Well, gee.

The medication “warnings” recommend I contact my doctor if I experience those sorts of feelings. My head is currently at a level 8 on the 1-10 Migraine Pain scale where 10 is the worst migraine pain I’ve experienced ever. I woke up at a 10 and used ice packs most of the day and then took Midrin at 4:30 PM to at least allow me to get out of bed for a bit.

I think I’m in some kind of medication/Asperger’s mental purgatory.


2 thoughts on “24 Hours of Meltdown

    • It works for every pain other than my head. Ha! I take Midrin, and I have stronger stuff… but anything with acetaminophen causes rebound headaches (like my Midrin, so it must be used sparingly), and the stronger stuff is habit-forming, I don’t take any pain medication at all if I can stay in bed with ice packs. Extreme heat and cold applied to my body are the two things that can effectively distract me from the pain so that I can relax enough to work my way back down to a 7. It’s as if I have to perform a careful sleight of hand with my head. I treat it like a naughty child and ignore it as best I can, but it’s rubbish to be in bed all the time.


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