You Have to Use Silver Bullets!

It’s Monster Migraine of 2012 update time, kids!

  • The lovely Dr. H. was wearing sexy boots this morning. This made me view her as something of a Dr. Van Helsing, on a mission to slay my evil Monster Migraine
  • Last week’s VPA (Valproic Acid or Depakote) Infusion did not work, so next up? STEROIDS! I’m getting a big fat steroid infusion that will make me crazy. Doc said that one of her patients who gets them regularly took all of her clothes off and ran naked through a golf course. Excitement!
  • When the hell did Midrin come back on the market? Um, yes, of course I’ll switch out my current crappy pain meds for that. K thanks
  • The whole needles in my eye thing (Optic Nerve Block) has been completely taken off the table
  • My diagnosis has been changed from a form of chronic migraines to status migrainosus which essentially means “Monster Migraine that can’t be killed by normal means” (what have I been telling you, silly doctors? You have to use silver bullets!)
  • My headache specialist is referring me to the Jefferson Headache Center and made mention of putting me into a medically induced coma to “reboot” my brain. I thought shit was real before. But shit just got for real for real
  • For real
  • All in all, my doctor spent a long time with me discussing side effects and reading over success ratios from trial results and being very frank about where we are. Where we are is heading towards my fifth opinion

Wednesday Morning Update

My sister was just finishing her night shift in the Tranny Care Unit this morning so I got good sister hugs and all of the immediate hospital staff were sweet to me because I was “B.’s Baby Sister.”

She made sure I got the same nurse as last week so I wouldn’t have any problems, but boy, oh, boy did I have problems today!

  • The blood pressure machine couldn’t get a read on me and squeezed both arms to death
  • My nurse couldn’t get IVs to thread in my veins today. The tried both arms and my left hand
  • Finally the nurses brought in Carl “The Vein Raper” McHottie who confidently asked, “Ma’am, which arm would you prefer I start your IV in?” I responded by saying, “Left arm, corner pocket.” Carl said, “8 ball or 9 ball?” My husband said, “You’ve exhausted her knowledge of billiards.”
  • Carl got my IV to take in my left forearm, got my meds, went to sleep. Now another wait begins
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