Choose Your Own Botox Adventure!

I have good news and I have bad news. Let’s make this like a “Choose Your Own Adventure”.

To enter The Cave of Time and read Good News, read the green paragraph below:

All of the crazy extra pain from the Botox is finally over! YAY! My doctor, who is just so incredibly sweet, was optimistic on the phone about some of the changes to the pain I experience on the right side of my body. 

 

To avoid The Cave of Time and find out the bad news about Who Killed Harlowe Thrombey, read the red text below:

The Botox treatment didn’t stop the pain. That doesn’t mean it won’t, it just means that seven days is the minimum amount of time it takes to start working typically, and it may still work. I’m also up to 200 mg of Topamax daily so that could wear things down as well. 

It does not help that there is a hurricane headed for the East coast, which causes barometric pressure changes… which in turn fucks with my head and causes severe nausea. 

My doctor wants to wait three weeks before we move on to our next option. She doesn’t want to pile on treatment after treatment in case something starts working. If something starts working and I’m on a million medications, we won’t know which on is working so we won’t be able to stop any of them. 

To skip the good news AND the bad news and just get on with the vain news, read the blue text below:

A fun side effect of the Botox is that I look different, and I’m kinda sorta devastated. Facial symmetry is a big deal to me, I already have a mole that I have learned to love over the years, and now my eyebrows have dropped. Yeah yeah yeah, this is an entirely superficial thing to be upset about but it’s my face. I’ve already taken a hit to my self esteem because I don’t feel well enough to put my best face forward all the time. I’m already living in pajamas most of the time. This whole thing has completely stripped my life away and probably ruined my career… and now a treatment that seems less and less likely to be effective (at the moment I am trying to stay positive I promise, I am… but let me have my whiny moment and then I’ll go back to knowing that there are starving children and people with cancer and AIDS and UFOs and such) has made me look weird and ugly to myself. 

My husband still says he doesn’t notice a difference and gets annoyed every time I try to bring it up, but when I look in the mirror I don’t like the face I see. I put on makeup for the first time since the treatment today and I had to hold up my eyebrows so I could put eyeshadow on… and I had to do my makeup completely differently. I’ve had my face for 32 years. And now it’s not quite right. It’s really making me anxious. 

I hate having irrational emotional responses to things.

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